The Scottish Ambulance Service was understandably a bit miffed when its Saturday afternoon was interrupted by a call from the Kismot curry house, requiring transport to hospital for two participants in its Kismot Killer curry eating competition. A charitable endeavour, raising money for a children's charity, the aims of the competition were undeniably noble.
An American student who came second in the competition had some graphic, tactical words of wisdom for future competitors:
"It was very painful and felt like I was being chainsawed in the stomach with hot sauce on the chainsaw. I have learned my lesson and will never do it again and, in fact, I will be cutting down on my spice intake full stop. The woman who won ate the last bowl in four seconds and then ran outside to be sick where as I didn't so I've learned I should have had a game plan like that. There were three rounds and I managed half of the last bowl. I was in so much pain I wasn't aware of what was going on around me and when I got to hospital they gave me medicine for the indigestion. I don't think the restaurant should do it any more as I think there are a lot less painful ways to raise money for charity."
Happily for the curry house, the BBC website confirms "on the restaurant's website it insists that participants sign a legal disclaimer before taking part in the competition".
Local councillors were less amused. Gordon Mackenzie called the event a "shambles" and said: "The owners owe a debt to the ambulance service, and I hope they'll find some way of making it up to them."
Let's hope it's not with an all you can eat Kismot Killer curry buffet...
On a final note on the subject, all credit to the Mirror for one of my favourite headlines for a while: "Vindaloonacy"...